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WHAT IS A FRIEND?

GUNDAM WING poetry by Komadori-chan MD

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Email: kchan_md@yahoo.com

Archive: http://freewebz.com/disillusionment/

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is exclusive property of Sunrise and Sotsu Agency and it is my responsibility, by association, to mention that. However, all presented content of “What is a Friend?” is sole and copyrighted property of MD. This is my original poem and I claim ALL rights to it.

Published: 02-12-01

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I stand alone, like I have so many times before

Contemplating my existence… the purpose of my existence.

Staring quietly into the oblivion… perhaps I’ll find it out there…

Among scattered diamonds against the black tapestry of the night.

Something so unclear to me

Like waking with fragmented dreams… Merely shards of a much bigger picture

Which remains unseen

The fleeting wisps of memories long since forgotten

I walk alone in the shadows of life

The only light that I seek is that of my destiny

And it is that alone that drives me.

Emptiness… I never realized before how empty my life seems

When I look past my life’s mission

Beyond it, there’s nothing… a gaping hole in my being.

A moonless night sky…

I gaze into its vast darkness with a sense of loss.

Looking down at the shattered glass around me…

Shattered like the lives of many faceless people in my wake

Smashed beyond all hope… is there no hope for those people?

The shards lie strewn across the floor like raindrops from a tempest

Below a window that is no longer complete… like me.

I am but a single shard in a sea of restless confusion

Still apart of a whole, but not quite there… broken off

Among the masses, yet somehow separate… isolated

Maybe it’s by choice

Nothing in this world holds anything for me…

And nothing in this life is certain beyond my mission.

But then I look up from the depressing sight of chaos,

And into eyes that seem to sum up the world’s kindness

And a smile just as warm… there’s an outstretched hand

Waiting for my acceptance entreatingly

A single, glowing ray of hope in the surrounding gloom

There’s a burning desire within me to reach out and capture it

To let this flicker of warmth rekindle my inner sense of purpose

Instead, I refuse it… nothing is forever.

And when that hope disappears like everything else in my life,

Thrown into the winds of time, it will only leave me even more bare and vulnerable

More desolate than I was before, more hopelessly lost

A single, dead desert oasis

I can see the pain of rejection rippling in the in the depths of those sympathetic eyes

But the smile remains… an immovable mountain.

How strange… I never knew such compassion existed before…

Suddenly, I realize that there are others that I hadn’t noticed before

The others that stand around me have the same inviting expressions

And I can feel their unity… it fills the surrounding air like the fresh scent of wilderness

So, there is still hope out there… I can feel the emptiness inside of me receding

Cautiously, but more willingly, I embrace this new gift… serendipity.

I never expected to find myself such understanding and open arms

Reaching out to finally take that hand, I feel the reassurance in it

In its grip I sense the promise, sincerity and even love…

I take it in a little at a time, still somewhat afraid of losing it,

But accepting the offering wholeheartedly… grasping the flame of faith

It spreads its warmth throughout me… filling me… making me whole

Almost reluctant to let it go… but somehow knowing that it will always be there

I am in awe of this newfound feeling of completion

Maybe this is what I was missing…

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